Loving Spoonful
by Queriusole
Summary: LupinTonks, Black, Moody. An unforgettable Valentine's Day befalls our duo.


Summary: LupinTonks, Black, Moody. An unforgettable Valentine's Day befalls our duo.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters; I'm just playing with the wonderful creations of JKRowling.

**LOVING SPOONFU**L

_February 1_

"No, bad dog! Don't chew on that piece of wood," admonished Remus Lupin as he entered the parlor of number twelve Grimmauld Place.

Snuffles looked up at the Professor with his head cocked to one side. Between his paws was a lovely piece of mahogany. The large black dog quickly changed into Sirius Black. "But it's just begging to be chewed! You wouldn't deprive Snuffles, would you?"

Lupin reached over quickly to rescue the mahogany and explained, "It's not a chew toy; it's for a birthday gift for Tonks."

Sirius quirked an eyebrow. "Um, Moony, if you're having problems, I can give you a few pointers, unless your intent is to bludgeon her, that is."

"Thank you for the offer, Padfoot, but I don't plan to whack her on the head. Nor do I intend to use the wood as a metaphor for my failings, " replied Lupin as he lightly knocked the wood on Sirius' head. "Tonks and I are quite compatible, thank you very much."

"So what are you going to do with it?"

"I'm carving her a lovespoon."

"A what?"

"A Welsh lovespoon. You know, the Muggle souvenir shops sell them to tourists, but it's an artifact based on an old Welsh tradition."

"Oh, yes, I remember seeing them now. So, you're obviously not going for a cheap imitation." Sirius then scratched his ear before saying, "You do realize that Tonks' birthday falls on Valentine's Day? She'll expect a sappy note from you as well."

"I've thought about that. I'm working on a Honey Note for her," responded Lupin as he now tapped the length of wood against his palm. "I think that if I write it when I'm bone tired and only thinking about sleep, it won't turn into a Horny Note."

Sirius nodded his approval before asking the next question. "Do you know anything about carving? I don't remember you ever working with wood unless you were chewing up the Shrieking Shack during full moon."

"I actually spent a few months studying with Sylvestor Sylvanus, the master of wooden charms, about six years ago."

"Ah, yes, I remember now. Weirdo Woody, always carries a log around with him that has a face carved in it."

"Yes, that's him. He's a very peculiar man, but excellent at his craft. I'm not the most skillful, but that's why I thought I'd get an early start," said Lupin

"Well, if you have any bits left over--" Sirius transformed into Snuffles and sat on his haunches with his tongue lolling out.

"I'll leave them for Snuffles," said Lupin as he gave his friend a quick scratch on the head. "But I want to make sure I have the right design before I start carving. I know the bowl of the spoon itself will be heart shaped."

Snuffles barked in approval.

"Yes, but that's the problem. That's all that I've decided. Every symbol carved from the handle has a meaning and I want to make sure I send the right message," said Lupin with a sigh. He looked at the piece of wood and tried to find a pattern that would work.

- - - - - - - - - -

_February 7_

Lupin entered his bedroom at Grimmauld Place and pulled out his special project from the drawer where he had carefully hidden it. Tonight would be an excellent opportunity to get more work done on the Welsh lovespoon since Tonks had guard duty for the Order.

He stood up to pace in the room as he studied the wood for some sign of the final design. He was pleased with his progress so far, but the final symbol was elusive. He was thus absorbed in his thoughts when he was attacked.

"Wotcher, Remus!" cried Tonks as she swiftly tackled him onto the bed.

Lupin had the presence of mind to move the spoon behind his back as Tonks perched herself atop him when he landed on the bed facing her.

"Tonks?" asked Lupin in clear surprise. Although it pained him, the carving was safely hidden under his back as it nudged against his vertebra. "Uh, you're here. I thought--"

The Auror bounced the mattress with her knees as she explained. The recoil on the mattress springs allowed the carving to poke annoyingly at Lupin's back, but then his attention was drawn to the purple lettering on the lime t-shirt she wore. The W's of the Witchy Woman were bouncing quite enticingly, so he almost missed her explanation.

"I just love Fleur Delcour. Her parents are in town again tomorrow, so Bill practically demanded I switch duty with him."

"Well, this is a nice surprise, but you must be starved--"

"Mm, famished," agreed Tonks before she captured his mouth for a long, pain-numbing kiss.

Lupin almost completely forgot about the carving stabbing his spine and, although Tonks typically had him reduced to a grunting Neanderthal within minutes, he kept his head and rolled their bodies so that he was now on top of her. To further distract her, he began nibbling on her ear as he reached over with a long arm to slide the carving under the bed.

Pleased with his success, Lupin now smiled down at the lovely woman beneath him. They hadn't shared any quality time together in two days because of her caseload and guard duty for the Order. "I'm giving you one last chance. Are you sure you don't want to eat?"

"How about you work up an appetite and join me in raiding the kitchen later?" asked Tonks as she began to nibble on his throat.

"I love a woman who plans ahead," murmured Lupin.

- - - - - - - - - - -

_February 10_

Tonks was sitting at the kitchen table at Order headquarters trying to write a report; however, she was more successful in creating random blots on the scroll as the ink dripped from the quill to the rhythm with which she thumped the feather against her chin.

"I don't think they interpret Rorschachs at the Ministry, Tonks," said Lupin as he looked over her shoulder.

Sirius entered just in time to hear the comment and, with a puzzled look on his face, asked, "What's a Roar Shack? Is it some magical creature?"

"No, they're inkblots Muggles use to try to figure out who's mental and who isn't," said Tonks. She was familiar with them from her father's many visits to various Muggle doctors.

Lupin set three plates of food on the table. "You seem distracted."

"You can only blame yourself, Remus," said Tonks as she put aside the scroll and quill. "I'm trying to decide what to do for you for Valentine's Day."

Sirius' barking laughter preceded his comment of, "He's a man, Tonks, it should be obvious."

Tonks slapped her cousin's shoulder. "I meant beside the obvious."

"Good, as long as we're engaging in the obvious, don't worry about it. I've never gotten a Valentine anyway," explained Lupin as he poured the wine.

Tonks was about to take a bite of food, but stopped. "Never? Come on, surely one of those girls you kissed back in your school days?"

"No, the timing would be wrong," replied Lupin.

"Now wait, Moony. I seem to remember that Darcy Dandelion gave me a card to give to you, uh, never mind," ended Sirius rather sheepishly.

Lupin frowned. "No, I would have remembered that, but something tells me there's some truth to your story, Padfoot."

"Well, I did give it to you, but by the time I remembered, it was full moon and, well..." Sirius' voice fell off as he ate a large bite of the bangers and mash. "Good stuff, Remus."

"You gave it to me when I was a Werewolf?" asked Lupin rather incredulously. "What did I do? Chew it to bits?"

"With a little help from Snuffles," admitted Sirius before taking another mouthful of dinner.

Tonks rolled her eyes, but they held a merry twinkle. "You insensitive git. I'm not trusting you with my Valentine, but thank you for protecting my future interest." Then she turned to Lupin to continue her interrogation. "What about from a Hogwarts' student? I remember Hermione admitting she'd sent one to Lockhart when he taught there."

"And here I thought she was the brightest witch of her age," mumbled Sirius.

Lupin sat back for a moment as if scanning his memory. He snapped his fingers and said, "Oh, yes, now I remember. There were a lot of envelopes on my desk at Hogwarts on Valentine's Day when I taught there."

"See there, you did get Valentines!" said Tonks with a triumphant fork in hand.

Lupin rubbed his chin while he considered a new interpretation of a memorable day. "Perhaps, but unfortunately, Neville Longbottom managed to release a fire demon that flamed the entire lot." Lupin shrugged as he said, "I always wondered why the girls were so upset."

Tonks rolled her eyes again. "You can be so utterly clueless, Remus. I'll have to make sure my Valentine can withstand a mastication and conflagration. But mark my words, you will have a Valentine this year, Remus Lupin."

"Hey, what about your beloved cousin?" asked Sirius with a patently false hurt expression.

"We've got that covered," said Tonks as she shared a glance and smirk with Lupin.

- - - - - - - - - -

_February 14  
Ministry of Magic_

"Happy birthday, Tonks! Here, I got you a jar of Bruise-away." Kingsley Shacklebolt smiled as he put the small jar on her desk. The woman was as clumsy as she was competent, so every year he replenished her supply. But then he noticed all the hearts decorating a note to a man named John. "What do you have there, Tonks? I thought you were with Remus."

She was rolling a scroll up as she explained with a wink, "It is a Valentine for Remus."

Further conversation was suspended when Alastor Moody stomped into the office. "Off your bums, we need all available Aurors now!"

"What's going on, Mad-Eye?" asked Tonks as she rose.

"The public is in grave danger, Muggles and Wizards alike. Hurry up, now."

Moody practically chased Tonks out of the office and to the briefing, seeming to mumble something that sounded like, "...cross-dressing dwarfs..."

Shacklebolt was about to follow when he noticed the scroll still on Tonks' desk. He shrugged, picked up the scroll, and sent it up the tube to the owlery so that it would be delivered. He wouldn't want Lupin to miss out on his Valentine.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

_February 14  
Order Headquarters_

"Ah, Emmeline, how nice of you to show up," said Lupin as he greeted the witch.

"Where's Sirius?"

"Upstairs with Buckbeak brooding about being alone."

Emmeline smiled warmly. "Poor pooch probably needs some company. So, you'll be gone all day?"

"Absolutely. And all night, too, so, I'll leave you to your visit," said Lupin as he left Grimmauld Place.

Upstairs, Sirius was smoothing Buckbeak's feathers. "At least we have each other, old boy."

"Do you prefer fowl to females now, Sirius?"

The feminine voice surprised the man. He turned to see the witch leaning against the doorway in profile. His eyes scanned her quickly. "Perhaps you should refresh my memory?"

"My pleasure," she whispered as she approached him.

- - - - - - - - - -

_February 14  
Diagon Alley_

"How many bloody dwarfs are there?" asked Tonks as she took a brief rest with her companions on a bench at Diagon Alley outside of Flourish and Blotts. The day had been a complete disaster.

At first the reports had been about cross-dressing dwarfs who were reciting horrible poetry at random people they had aggressively accosted. Then the Aurors had established that rather than dealing with transvestites, the dwarfs were dressed up as Cupids. It had been difficult to determine this since the white togas looked like dresses and the wings, rather than being perky, were drooping off their shoulders.

But once the apparel was identified, the Aurors made an epiphany. The verses recited by the dwarfs were actually Valentine poems written by extraordinarily untalented poets typically suffering, and rightly so, from unrequited love. And every time the Aurors thought they had the situation under control, another report would come in.

"At least the copies disappear as soon as we immibilize them." Shacklebolt wiped a hand across his face. "I'm going to toss the moron who is responsible for this in a cell with the dwarfs."

"Afraid that's out of our hands." Moody approached the two Aurors, but took a quick drink from his hip flask before he explained. "It seems Lockhart slipped away from his ward at St. Mungo's when someone mentioned it was Valentine's Day. We caught him in the act of duplicating these surly dwarfs who are delivering Valentines today. Don't know how many he made."

Tonks put her face into her hands and mumbled something.

"What was that, Tonks?" asked Shacklebolt.

Tonks lifted her head and said, "Thank Merlin I didn't send that scroll this morning. I was going to use the Dwarf Delivery service to send my Valentine to Remus. At least he's safe."

Tonks looked at Shacklebolt and thought it funny that he seemed to suddenly pale. She continued with, "King, are you all right there? You look a bit peaky."

"I sent it."

"What?"

"I sent it. Your Valentine, I sent it up the tube and--"

"Oh, no, I've got to find Remus!" cried Tonks as she rose.

"Don't be hasty, Tonks. He's safe at Order Headquarters," said Moody calmly. He thought Tonks was getting rather paranoid lately. Where could she have gotten that?

"No, he's not. He was spending the day at historical archives at Coven Hall," she explained. "He'll be a bleeding target!"

At that moment, a swarm of Cupid-clad dwarfs seemed to appear out of nowhere and stampeded past the dumbfounded Aurors straight for Flourish and Blotts.

"Tonks, Shacklebolt, you see to this latest disturbance. I'll get to the nearest floo in the boostore and warn Lupin."

Of course, Moody forgot that the Archive Hall had six different floos in its nooks and crannies.

- - - - - - - - - - -

_February 14  
Coven Hall Historical Archives _

Remus Lupin was enjoying a rather pleasant day. He had been engaged in rather professorish activities, what with hunting this record or that document from the archives. Even better, when he finished here, he was set for a nice, quiet evening with Tonks, making sure she got everything she wanted: A Honey Note Valentine, her favorite dinner and his complete attention to ensuring her pleasure. He was even satisfied with the carving on the Welsh lovespoon he would present to her.

Life was good!

"Lupin!"

The man in question turned his head thinking he had imagined a voice calling his name.

"Lupin!"

This time the voice was fainter, but Lupin couldn't trace the source. The voice continued to plague him from different directions of the Archive Hall until Lupin made the connection. The voice was clearly from a floo. But which one?

In the meantime, Moody was getting anxious. He had tried almost all the floos at the Archives now, but was reluctant to enter one to go to the Hall in case Tonks and Shacklebolt needed his assistance at Flourish and Blotts. In frustration, his last call was a bellow.

"Remus Lupin, you've not gone deaf, so answer me!"

Lupin finally spotted the floating head in the floo at the farthest nook. He called out as he took quick strides to the floo. "Mad-eye? What's the problem? Is Tonks in trouble?"

"No, but you are."

"Me? But how?"

"Dangerously dutiful doppelganger dwarfs!"

Lupin blinked since he had not expected a Moody's madly mangled message. "Say again?"

"I said disgruntled, delinquent, duplicated dwarfs!"

"Mad-eye, that makes no--"

Lupin's words were lost as a stampede of dwarfs fell upon him.

At the floo at Flourish and Blotts, Moody winced, then noticed that Shacklebolt had the dwarfs in custody and that Tonks was at his side. He turned to her and said, "Sorry, lass, my warning was too late. They got him!"

"Oh, no!" cried Tonks. She quickly tossed in the floo powder and called for the Archives.

Fortunately she emerged from the floo that allowed her to approach the swarm of dwarfs without detection.

"_Immobilus_," called the Auror.

All but one dwarf suddenly disappeared with a pop, but the one remaining one was enough. He was sitting on Lupin's trick knee.

"Oh, Remus, I am so sorry," said Tonks has she hurried to him. "_Finite incantatum_."

This released both Lupin and the dwarf from the immobility spell, but as Tonks lifted the dwarf off of his leg, the dwarf began his caterwaul.

"Gryffindor Red and Ravenclaw blue, the best combination, just like we two. Slytherin Green and Hufflepuff yellow, you've captured my heart, you beastly kind fellow."

"_Silencio, corpus rete_," called Tonks as a blush crept up her throat. The dwarf was now silent and constrained within a net.

Lupin, clearly in pain from his knee, suddenly began to laugh. Tonks looked down at him sheepishly, then at the grumpy looking dwarf, and began to giggle.

"What hurts more? The knee or my rhyme?" asked Tonks just before belly laugh tore through her.

Lupin managed to sit up on his elbows and said, "You should never complain about my poetry again, but I'll be satisfied if you just take me home."

- - - - - - - -

_February 14_

Remus Lupin was sitting on the couch of their London flat with his knee propped up. "Tonks, really, I don't need anything else. Now, sit down and let me give you your Valentine and your birthday present. I feel bad enough for spoiling the evening for you."

Tonks sat down and took his hand. "Remus, all I want on my birthday is to have you with me. That's all I need, just you."

Lupin leaned over to kiss her quickly. "I'm glad for that, but I did spend a lot of time getting your present just write, not to mention I want to see if my Honey Note really worked."

"A Honey Note? Really?" asked Tonks with a bounce of anticipation.

Lupin pulled out the card first. "Here, no poetry though. If it works right."

Tonks stood up and took the pink envelope from him. Lupin could clearly see her excitement in opening it. The paper folded out and relayed the message:  
_My dearest Mary, You are my one and only Valentine. Love, John._

The Honey Note then gently kissed her cheek. After a quick downward dart.

"Well, it almost got the right body part," said Tonks as the note dissolved into a sparkle of confetti.

"It's the best I could do," said Lupin with a smile. "Now, luckily I had the foresight to place your birthday gift in a box or it would be nothing but splinters after the dwarf attack."

Remus pulled out a long slender box. Tonks took it and hoped that he hadn't spent his meager funds on jewelry. She had the Wolfshadow amulet and that was enough. She opened the box to find the bowl of a spoon. Made out of wood. A wooden spoon.

"Um, thank you, Remus, I--I can always use another utensil..."

"No, no, pull the paper off to unwrap the handle. I wanted to make sure it was well cushioned," said Remus. Her less than enthusiastic reception made him worry that he'd given her a really lame gift. Nymphador Tonks was a modern witch; the spoon was probably too anachronistic. He began stumbling to explain, "I know it's old fashioned and overused on tourists, but I can vouch for the craftmanship personally."

Tonks removed the tissue on the handle and as she recognized the true nature of the gift, a smile slowly graced her face. "A Welsh lovespoon." She stared at the symbols carved into the handle and traced them lightly with her finger. "Remus, did you carve this yourself?"

"I got an early start and, well, it's not perfect. The symmetry of the heart of the bowl is a tad off and sometimes I think I made the linking hearts on the handle the wrong size and Sirius was teasing me that the phoenix on top looks like a chicken."

Tonks silenced his words with a loving kiss. "It's beautiful, Remus, and the Phoenix is just as regal as Fawkes. I can't believe, I mean, no one has ever gone to this much trouble for me."

Remus cupped her face with his hands and asked, "Do you accept the lovespoon, Nymphadora, and all that it means?"

"Yes, Remus, and I won't accept any other unless it's made by your hands."

Remus kissed her warmly and, despite the bad knee, spent the night engaging in the obvious.

_The End_

Author Notes:

A short Valentine story for you. Like I said, just a few more to go.  
The Welsh lovespoon is real, you can find a variety of websites on them.  
The dwarfs were inspired by the Valentine's Day escapade in Chamber of Secrets. I still laugh at the image.  
I wanted Sirius to have some fun on Valentine's, so Emmeline paid a visit.  
John and Mary are Remus and Tonks middle names, the latter not being canon, so they use them in their notes.  
The bad poetry is all mine, as are the tongue twisters. Some things are so bad, you just have to laugh!

Things that are not Canon: Weirdo Woody (Sylvestor Sylvan), Coven Hall or the Archives therein, the Honey notes and _Corpus rete_ spell (sends a net around the target's body).

Finally, I have no idea when Tonks' birthday really is, but given the constant description of her heart-shaped face, I thought I'd use creative license and make it on Valentine's Day.

Thanks for reading. I appreciate the time you take to also leave a note on the story, whether you're a new reader or an old faithful.

If you're new to this series, just hit Queriusole for the others, but it can be read as a stand alone.


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